(no subject)

[memoryisthekey]

I can do this.

I can DO this.

I can TOTALLY do this.

I am going to fuck this up so badly, aren't I?

I'm actually pacing outside of her apartment, trying to psych myself up for this. It's like being in that storage unit all over again. She's right there, I just have to knock on the door and talk to her and hey, bonus, I don't think Helen's as likely to shoot me as Tex would. It's just a date. I just want to ask her on a date.

On Valentine's day. Night. Actually, it's some lantern show thing, but it's on Valentine's day and I'm pretty sure Helen's a Valentine's kind of woman. Unless she isn't. In which case, I really am about to fuck this up.

Shit. Here goes.

I knock on the door.

"Helen, you home? It's me. Um... Church? From the... things?"

Comments

[jianhuo]

She knows there's nothing she can do at the hospital except get in the way, most like, so Saffron's been keeping herself busy with cooking. There are pies cooling on racks in the kitchen, and the fridge is full of things she's made and packaged up to take to various people. She has a couple of hours yet before she needs to get ready to go to the lantern festival, so now she's cleaning, in leggings and a slightly raggedy tunic top with her hair pulled into a messy ponytail.

There's a knock at the door just as she's finishing up cleaning the kitchen, and as Saffron pads over in bare feet to answer it she can't help but smile at the sound of Church announcing himself from the other side. Stifling a laugh, she schools her expression so that she's got a sweet, friendly smile when she answers it. "Hi, honey," she says, stepping aside to let him in. "Come on in. I'm sorry I'm kind of a wreck right now, I've been cooking and cleaning most of the day."

[memoryisthekey]

"You're fine, I just... um, I won't be here long." Because once she stops laughing at me, I'll probably have died of shame. How do civilians do this? How did I? At one point, some version of me managed to ask a beautiful woman named Alison to spend time with him. And while that crashed and burned so epically it will probably be taught in academy ethics classes, he managed it.

Am I really that broken? I mean, I thought I was making progress, but here I am.

"You know there's a thing today, right? A celebration thing happening?"

[jianhuo]

"Sure," Saffron replies, shutting the door behind Church. She's inclined to ask him to sit, or if he wants a cup of coffee or tea, but he seems to want to get right to the point of why he's come over, so she doesn't just yet. "The lantern festival. I'm looking forward to it."

[memoryisthekey]

"I that what it is? I didn't really pay attention. I mean, I know there's a thing and I'm glad to hear you're looking forward to it." Makes this easier, like, I'm not about to ask her to go somewhere she wouldn't normally. That's a good thing, right?

"It's also this holiday, we kind of had it back home and they have it here, maybe you know about it? Um, Valentine's Day?"

[jianhuo]

Saffron nods. "Where I come from is a blend of Chinese and American cultures, so the lantern festival was pretty widely celebrated. It's one I really enjoy," she says, then grins when he goes on to explain further. "We also still have Valentine's Day in the twenty-sixth century, yes."

[memoryisthekey]

"So I was, I was thinking of going to this thing and maybe, I mean if you want to, I could take you? Maybe?" I feel like I'm sweating bullets here, but I managed to say it. I think. Now, she's either going to answer, laugh at me, or hit me. Which I guess would be an answer too, so... yeah, I'm just going to stand here and look like an idiot.

[jianhuo]

She probably should have seen this coming given his line of questioning, but Saffron is genuinely not expecting this. She's been asked out on a legitimate date that didn't involve her getting paid or wasn't post-hookup by exactly one guy, ever, and that hadn't really ended up too well.

"Why Church," she says, her smile making it clear she's pleased and flattered by this development, "are you asking me on a date?"

[memoryisthekey]

"Will saying yes get me hit?" Tex would hit me. Maybe. Probably. Actually, all of the Freelancer women would probably shoot me for even thinking it. They're not the most romantic bunch. Well, maybe CT, but that's a whole can of worms I shouldn't be opening now. Right now, I just want to get this over with so she can shoot me down, hopefully figuratively, and I can retreat.

[jianhuo]

Saffron lets out a soft laugh, incredulously amused. "Of course not," she says. "Why would I hit you for asking me on a date? I'd love to go on a date with you to the lantern festival."

[memoryisthekey]

"You- you would? That's great." I honestly expected her to say no. I'm just the annoying ex-soldier she keeps feeding. I'm... oh, great, is this some pity thing? Like I'm a stray dog or something?

Fuck it, I'm doing this anyway. She's hot. Tucker already makes enough jokes at my expense.

"So I should come back by here and pick you up then? What time do you want to leave?"

[jianhuo]

At times like this, Saffron has to wonder if her punishment for allowing herself to care about people is that she's doomed to repeat the same mistakes, set herself up over and over for the same pain. Whatever the case may be, she's now going on a date with Church, and she can't help but be happy about it because - well, it's him, and he asked her, and she happens to find him pretty damn adorable.

"Sure, that would be great," she says. "Say around...7:30?" She'd been planning to go over later than that, but now that Church is taking her, she's got incentive to want the night to last longer.

[memoryisthekey]

"Nineteen-thirty, I can do that." And I will be on-time. And probably a wreck, but I will be an on-time wreck. I almost wish I had Tucker here. He'd have all kinds of advice. I'd ignore it all, but at least it would be a starting point. I mean, seriously, how long has it been since I did the dating thing? If I have to be honest, it's probably all the way back before the Director was the Director and I don't think that counts.

I stand there, pretty stupidly before I realize I should say something else. "I, uh, guess I'll be back then. Have a... great rest of your afternoon?"

[jianhuo]

"You do the same," Saffron says with a warm smile, going to open the door for Church. She doesn't intend to rush him out the door, but he seems like he wants to leave, and besides, it looks like Saffron's got a need to take special care in getting ready for the festival. "I'm looking forward to tonight."